Chapter 2

Standing by his bed, holding my mom close to me, I wept silent tears. The sonometer ticked away in a rhythm that was far from perfect. He was not breathing, the ECG monitor showed spikes that were not sure of what music they were dancing to, the numbers were counting down. 62- 40 – 33- 20- 45- 20 and the machine forgot how to count.. Two stray spikes stradlled the blank line that was about to be my dad’s heartbeat.. and then, two white lines on a dark screen..

He passed away at close to 1.30 on the 20th. They say his brain had died before.. the man whom I have never ever seen on a hospital bed was lying in front of me, connected to this world through a bunch of transparent plastic tubes. It was just the three of us always, even while he was crossing over. Standing by his motionless body, me and mother looke with a lot of fear and anger into a world where we were orphans..

This is what people are trying to console me with. – His whole family was with us, so was my mom’s. All my friends supported me and so did his. we are not alone. There are no issues to be settled, he had done it all. A postgraduation student in IIT and a working mother with a home, property and great friends and family – they say – What is there to worry about. This was a peaceful death he had they say, no suffering, nothing. they say we are blessed. Yes we are.. we were, blessed by the presence of a man who was my best friend, my guide, my teacher and my pillar of support. My mom’s eternal lover, her boyfriend, her father her son and her girlfriend. A true friend and a man of great values and ideals that evryone loved. A thousand people turned up for his funeral, people whose life he had touched with his angelic hands, like he had touched ours.

Whatever they say, I would have accepted a whole life of poverty and suffering – with him, in exchange of this supposedly safe life that they say I have.. without him. All the love in the world could not bring him back.. which just means that me and my mom loved him even more than that, so much that inspite of giving all the love in the world to see him live.. there is still an ocean left with us.

I love you dad and you have loved me more than any dad would love his son and you have loved my mother more than any husband would love his life.. you have done your part, now it is my turn and I promise you that I wont let you down.. ever.